Seattle, Washington How Do You Get Coffee Stuck in Your Teeth?

This is nuts!

I’m sitting in a Barnes & Noble coffee shop reading all the comments and enjoying the bejeezus out of them. The counter just past 100, so I’m adding a new post to say thanks and clear the screen. The old ones are all still in the archives…There’s a guy at the table next to me performing an autopsy on his iced cappucino with a straw…distracting.

I guess a lot of people watch the Ellen Show in Nova Scotia. Toronto, too…Oh please, no. Now he’s scooping the inside of the cup out with his finger! Someone has to do something about this.

My cell phone spontaneously died over the weekend and I just realized all the emails that are trickling in have time stamps from 5 hours ago — right at the start of the first east coast broadcast. Just a theory, but I think there’s some kind of drain clog from all the traffic that’s stopping email from getting through. Hopefully I’ll get it later today, but as of right now there is absolutely no way for anyone to reach me.

I’ll try to post tomorrow with my site stats for today. There should be an amusingly vertical spike on the bar graph.

Now he’s slurping…can’t concentrate…must…fight it…must…keep it…together…

I watched the show at my girlfriend’s office this morning. Her co-workers were gathered around a TV in the break room. They had bagels…He’s sucking his teeth! It’s the single most annoying sound in the universe! Good God, man, how can you get it stuck in your teeth! It’s coffee, not corn!

I must retreat to my home. This is too much for me to bear.

44 Responses to Seattle, Washington How Do You Get Coffee Stuck in Your Teeth?

  1. Marie

    Matt ! Saw you on Ellen this p.m. in Georgia and just watched your website video… Your WONDERFUL !!… a lot of us wish we had the sense to be the “Free Spirit” that you have become …..Make more memories …. —- Dance like no one is watching —- but, geez, they are !!!

  2. Rachael Temple

    Ya know Matt? It’s not everyday that us average joes are immortilized on television. You have done us all proud! Congrats on the Ellen show. Oh… and btw… if you are ever in San Diego Cali look me up and we can dance together too!


  3. Linda Schleig

    Hi Matt, I, too, saw you on the Ellen Show today. I’m in Pennsylvania. You’re great Matt….keep on dancin’…….it’s great exercise !!!!!!


  4. Deb

    You’re too funny. There should be a law. …saw you on Ellen. I’ll be sending all my friends to your website. This will not cause an internet traffic jam because I don’t have very many friends. That’s my own fault. I used to have friends. A lot of them. Now I spend most of my free time sitting on the couch, drinking Pepsi and eating – while surfing the internet and finding interesting websites like yours. The computer is my friend. We have satellite internet service –I hate stormy days because the clouds block the signal –no websurfing on cloudy days. Today is a good day. Mostly Sunny. Partly Cloudy. 30% chance of rain later tonight. That means there may be a 30% chance that we lose the internet connection. I can live with that. Those are fairly good odds. Usually the weather man is wrong anyway. By the way, our three-year-old daughter danced her heart out along with you today on the Ellen show. Well, she wasn’t actually ON the Ellen show. If that were the case, they would have paid her and I think there’s some law about how many minutes you can be on TV when you’re three. And since she doesn’t have a twin to “double” for her – she would more than likely be turned down for dancing ON the Ellen show. Okay – now I’m going. Gotta go promote you. (Do I get some kind of management fee or referral fee for promoting your website? If that’s the case, I’m going to go and make more friends….)

  5. kristen

    I saw you on Ellen and had to check it out! God bless your courage and spirit! The world would be a better place if we could all dance a bit more often! Carry on!

  6. Morgan

    Seriously, I like the dancing, but the post I just read…. really funny. Better even then the dancing. Sorry, I know, but the guy with his coffee…. Do you think he reads this? Wouldn’t that be funny? Yes, I think so.

  7. Kaylie

    Hey Matt, I saw you on the Ellen Show today. Me and my brother had a great time watching you. I think you look kinda funny but cool too. I gonna try to mimic your dance some time. Bye!

  8. Sapphire

    Matt,, You are natural fun fun fun !!! I would hire you in a second to teach dance class…One problem Matt! ..(No one could keep up) wow your energy is catchy…keep on moving.~

  9. Kathy Williams

    I called my husband upstairs to see your dancing video and he broke his toe on the way up! He stubbed it on the couch! Great fun to see you dancing! Brought a smile to my face! Keep dancing, keep travelling and be careful!

  10. Mary Jane Hubbert

    Hey, I also saw u on the ellen show, which is weird because i never watch that show, there just happend to be nothing else on… and when i saw u dancing around,, i was like wow, what an awesome person.. your hilarious!! so do you travel around by your self.. ohh. it must be so much fun.. i am so jelous… ok well thats all. i think your awesome!

  11. Lisa

    Hey Matt! Just saw you on Ellen. Had a question……….How do you have the money to travel? It can’t be cheap to go to all those destinations! Are you a professional dancer? Or are you living off an inheritance? Would love to know…….Keep dancing…and traveling. That way I can travel vicariously through you! :)

  12. Susan Rynearson

    Matt, I just watched you on the Ellen show and I love your dancing. I’m in Northern California…up near San Jose area. What a wonderful spirit you are! Best wishes to you in all your travels of the future.

  13. Anne

    Totally “kick-ass” !!!! I was blown away !
    Saw you on Ellen. Love the site. Love your humor.
    I only wish I had the drive what you do…I would love to travel like that!!!
    Thank you for sharing yourself!!

  14. Bea Youngs

    You have inspired me to dance at all the places I travel to and to invest in a video camera. I travel probably as much as you do, but instead of doing a dance, I play paintball. You should consider going to one of our national paintball events (believe it or not, close to 8 million people play paintball in the USA alone). Go to – that’s the magazine I write for (I travel for them and conduct interviews, take pictures sometimes, and submit them to the publication). Maybe we’ll see you soon like at our next World Cup in Orlando or Miami for the Super 7 event? Hope to meet you some day. We’ll dance together! 😉 Best wishes, Bea Youngs –

  15. Jordana

    haha, saw you on Ellen as well. You get around eh? here you are in Canada, or were from your blog— come to B.C. it’s really pretty, or go to Jasper Alberta
    either way have fun travelling

  16. Maddy

    Hey MAtt good job! I also saw u on Ellen, she gave you some good press i guess.. hey u ko wat u never came to canada!!! OUCH so come on up to Mississauga ! and tell me i wana dance with you looks like fun,i must keep you fit! i tried here at home and got tired ppretty fast!! Keep it up and PLZ come to canada!

  17. jonathan gaibl

    wow matt…i saw you on ellen and im pretty sure your the best person ever to dance all over the world…good job…dont stop…im loving it

  18. Kim

    You inspired me today. You are so brave. I would love to travel the world and dance. Keep it up…..

  19. Sue

    You rock, man!! Your dancing is very…ummm… inspiring. If you ever need any animation done…

  20. Josh

    LMAO!!! that was some funny stuff on the ellen show today Matt, it was great, how did it feel to dance on the parking space of the infamous J-Leno!!! LMAO!!! Keep Up The Dancing, Its Freggin’ Halarious….

    Go and hit that guy that is sucking his teeth on the coffee, that is just as annoying as people get….

  21. Erika

    Matt–If you ever need a dancing and traveling companion, I’m yours. I would love to be able to do what you are doing. Someday, hopefully I will have the chance to turn my dreams into reality. I love what you are doing and I wish you the best. Oh the places you’ll go….Peace

  22. Bart

    …And so begins the divide between your new fans and your old-school-I-was-all-up-on-his-travel-blog-way-before-he-got-holywood fans.
    Just kidding…! Been a frequent visitor for quite some time now. Started up my own little blog site because of this place (shameless plug alert). You’re always a good read. Thanks for writing.. : )

  23. Lyndsey

    Pretty much you have the sweetest moves this side of Portland, Oregon. I thought my moves were pretty awesome but when i saw you dancing on the Ellen show today, i was in awww. I like that you’re keepin it real. Keep up the good work! One of these days i’m gonna have to steal your moves and show up some of my friends! Oh yeah, your pretty darn funny too. Welp, Keep on keepin’ on. :)

  24. Nellie

    Hey Matt, saw you on Ellen today … but I must comment on your coffee shop annoyance experience – has quite the high hahaness factor to it … congratulations, you -almost- made me laugh out loud (that’s actually a compliment) … take care

  25. Patience

    Dear Matt:

    I TVO Ellen every day. Since her first show began. I was out of work then, and had been able to watch it at l0:00 A>M every day for 6 months. I even remember the episode where by Ellen says to her viewers and fans and audience, “You know I am so used to doing stand up comedy, and with the audience laughing loudly, I feel like I have to yell. I forgot I am on TV and you can turn the volume up whenever you want. I bring this up because I want Ellen to know that I watch the show every moment I have the chance to sit back and stare into the tv. And always a smile comes out

    Your segment in Where the Hell is Matt is absolutely better on the computer than on TV. I can’t believe how many steps you dance at one time. I was watching and enjoying my travels through you. Then I became Anxious. I wanted you to do it in New York.

    I saw all the cities coming domestically and finally “New York” by the poll on Time Square. You know you could have danced yourself into traffic there. Be careful.

    Matt, just to let you know that I am now a statistic to your site, I was honored that your performance stopped in New York. My question is this? Matt, is my computer working properly? Did you travel to more spots than what I saw?

    I think that your movements are sort of similar to the American Idol “She Rocks” kid.

    The Big Apple was the best choice to make as a fan of Ellen and all of her fans.

    Sensational Collections
    1407 Broadway
    New York, New York 10018
    Tel: 212 940 – 7388
    Fax 212 980 – 7389
    Home Number: 212 588-9805
    New York time to call would be east coast time 7:00P>M. And anytime in the morning at the office. I run a fashion business. By the way “What size shoe is Ellen” I believe it is an 8.

    love to all of you Degeneres staff members. And to Mom, I wish I could spend the day with you and talk to you. Your just the type of person I need to see and talk to. Stay as you are, Wonderful and Sincere, and Funny.


    P.S. I do not have a cell phone anymore because I lost it.

  26. Katherine & Wayne Cochrane

    As Leo Sayer would say, “I Feel Like Dancin’, Yeah!” Keep on movin’ and a-groovin’ and having fun. Here we are in RR2 Kemble (outside Owen Sound, ON), thinking it’s a FUN! WOW! cool life you’re leading … how did this even start? Hopefully Ellen is now on the case and will fill us all in. All the best!

  27. MaryAnn

    I wasn’t going to post a comment until I saw that my e-mail address will be obfuscated. One of the best bumper stickers I’ve seen: Eschew Obfuscation. OK, weird. Anyway, also saw you on the Ellen show. She cracks me up, and now so do you. You will now become rich and famous. When you’re in Canada, swing on down through Missoula, Montana. Good luck! Say hey to your girlfriend…she might deserve a medal for putting up with you.

  28. gloriastone

    Saw you on the Ellen show. The world needs more free spirits like you. I will be following you around the world on my pc

  29. whitney

    I, too, saw you on the Ellen show (duh). I’m in Indiana. Just wanted to let ya know you made me laugh on my dreaded “back to work Monday”. Very rare!! Thanks a bunch…keep dancing.

  30. Ashley

    hey Matt! saw you on Ellen today, you were fantastic! just wanted to tell you how awesome and inspiring you are. keep on dancin dude!

  31. Tammy

    Hey! I too saw you on Ellen. You were great!
    I bet your web site gets a huge amount of hits today and for the near future.
    Keep dancing! Your lucky to have danced on Ellen and what a feat to dance next to Jay Leno’s parking spot! Man, that was a cool car!!
    Gotta go look aound your site now.
    Lots of hugs!

  32. Stacey Taylor-Kane

    Just another websurfer that saw you on Ellen. Fantastic idea for a website. I had a lot of fun watching your video. Thanks for the entertainment.

  33. Khrystah

    Just finished watching my tape of yesterday’s Ellen. You ROCK Matt!!!! :)

    I actually found your website quite some time ago (last year, the year before?) while I was looking for something (can’t remember what), but I forgot to bookmark it and I forgot the URL (duh!) Now I’ve got you bookmarked so I can follow you round the world. 😉

    Love the Carmen Sandiego-esque feel of the front page. 😉 BTW, what video games did you have a hand in making?

    Why can’t people just drink their coffee like normal human beings? Is it asking too much for people to just sit quietly and enjoy thier cuppa Joe without adding special sound effects? Is it? Well IS IT????????

    Your dancing video is TOTALLY AWESOME!!!! Dance on baby, dance on!!! Do it for those of us who would love to, but can’t. :)

  34. Donna

    I so wish I had the guts to do what you are doing way back when I was you age. Now here I sit on the downside of my thirties still wishing that I could go see the world, but alas the 4 kids make it some what more difficult. Maybe when I am old (er) and grey (er) I will have the time to dance around the world. Such a noble goal.

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