Seattle, Washington A Little Too Ironic

After weeks of toil, I’ve added a new feature that will, in theory, finally offer an answer to the question posed by my site address. If you visit the front page, you’ll find a link to a mapping system that Google has generously made available to the public, and it does a pretty good job of pinpointing where the hell I am – not to mention where I’ve been, if that’s of any interest.


I’d like to thank Jason Howard for turning me on to this idea, helping to set me up, and tolerating my incessant badgering when I couldn’t get the thing to work right.

I haven’t tested the mapping system on many other machines. I imagine slow computers or slow connections will have a hard time with it, and possibly non-IE browsers as well. If that’s the case, I apologize. I tried to keep it out of the way of things so folks can still explore the site without having to bother with it.

If you are able to view the maps, I hope you enjoy messing around and please send me any feedback.


As you can clearly see from the above image, Alanis Morissette greatly enjoys wiggling her head while watching my dancing video on an impractically enormous cell phone. Surely, this warrants no further explanation.

…but if you feel you really need one, you can find it here.

I’ve been asked by the nice folks at iFilm to judge a contest in which people submit their own dancing videos. I’ll pick the top eleven, which will then be passed along to Mrs. Morissette for the final rankings.

Let me make it clear that I do not find any of this to be the least bit strange. Nope. Not at all. This sort of thing happens to me all the time.

I don’t anticipate having any direct contact with Mrs. Morissette, and will therefore not have an opportunity to engage her in a dialogue about the correct definition of the word, "irony". I was hoping to suggest some additional song lyrics that might transform the scenarios depicted in her song toward her intended purpose.

Experiencing rain on your wedding day, for example, might become ironic if either the bride or groom is, in fact, a meteorologist.

A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break? Not ironic in and of itself. But if you happen to be a lobbyist pushing for a ban on public smoking – now we’re in the neighborhood.

Hitting a traffic jam when you’re already late? That’s simply unfortunate. But it could become irony-inducing if it was made clear that you were on your way to give a lecture on the importance of mass transit. I can understand how it might be difficult to make that one rhyme.

But alas, this conversation will never happen. And perhaps that’s for the best.

…just a quick clarification: the above phone is not actually “impractically enormous.” It is sensibly proportioned. It turns out that Alanis Morissette is just incredibly miniature.

…kidding about that. She’s normal-sized, as is the phone. And she makes wonderful songs. And the phone makes wonderful…phone calls.

I’m stopping now.

14 Responses to Seattle, Washington A Little Too Ironic

  1. kari

    “Get creative, because the crazier the clip, the more we’ll love it!

    * Dance underwater while scuba diving
    * Dance naked on a mountain
    * Get your pet to do the hula
    * Video your friends doing a drunken conga at midnight”

    Ok…you’re going to have to let us know how many videos you get of people dancing naked on a mountain.

  2. Ed Lewis

    I love how it has dancing naked on a mountain as an example and when you check out the rules and regs it says:

    “No nudity, profanity or extreme violence is allowed.”

    I wonder if nobody talks to the lawyers over at LG. Probably not the most sociable fellows.

  3. I hope you don’t mind if I point my poetry students to this entry to help them with their understanding of the word “irony.” Actually, I’ll probably just pull it up in class and we’ll have a go. Heh. I can even make a group exercise our of having them tweak the remaining lyrics in the general direction of irony. Thanks for the inspiration.

  4. Call me up next time you go to Antarctica! I would show you my favorite titty bar. The chicks get their nipples frozen to the poles..

  5. Ok, I’m about to come off how lame I really am, but I just saw you on Inside Edition, and hey! we’ve been to some of the same places. I wasn’t filmed dancing at them, but there are some very artful photos taken by my boyfriend at the time…and I’m just gonna stop there. Suffice it to say, I will not be posting those any time soon. I used to be able to say ‘I’ve been to every continent except Antartica, and who wants to go there?’ but now I can say ‘ I’ve been to every continent except Antartica, and Matt says it’s very cold, not to mention hard to dance on, so I really thought I’d pass.’ Unless it is ideal to dance on, and not at all cold, contrary to other reports. Then I’ll be sure to set them straight.

    Good luck, and many good wishes for your chilly holiday!

  6. karequilt

    What a hoot!

    Good for you! Life is after all but an endless DANCE! I had the incredible blessing to visit 21 countries by the time I was 21. I wish I had thought to dance in each one!!!!

    You are young only….your whole life long — if you so choose to accept that assignment. Have the courage to stay young at heart and the guts to pay your own way while you do it. It won’t be easy. But you’ll have a great adventure if you accept the paradoxes of life and don’t blame anyone else for them! Just enjoy the adventure for as long as you last.



  7. I was so happy to read your critique of irony…that song has always driven me nuts, but I feel like a bitter old pundit whining about it. Glad I’m not the only one :)

    Just found your site today. I love it! Keep on truckin’ man.

  8. alex

    matt, you rule. your comments are hysterical. i follow this site with great fervour and penache

    isn’t that ironic?

  9. Celtia

    A woman who writes a song about irony, without understanding what it really means? That’s ironic.

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